Heard you're getting married this weekend.. smiled (should have I?)

I don't know. That news does not tear me apart of course.. (or to be honest, it shouldn't!?)
The 'little thing' happened between us has past for a very long time.
[...]
But why do I feel this way?
..feeling like gradually and silently being broken into many pieces...

Marriage is not exactly the last destination.. but I could hear the joyful emotion in your voice.. I felt like I could watch your pleased smile at the time.. and I could taste the smell of happiness in every breath you took..

I should've been glad for you.. I should've thought to myself "oh that's great!".. but I just can't.

I cannot help the feeling of losing you.. even though I used to think that I had lost you.. that it was ok 'cause I didn't need you so much...

But I never thought that.. it could have been like this..

When I realize how I want you is when I have lost you forever... I hate myself.

<3 Though, I'll keep the memory of you in my heart..
You may be with somebody else.. But you know that.. for me, feeling's not erased. I love U.